My husband and I have been sick for over a year. I've recently received a new diagnosis which is supposed to explain my vertigo; however, I still feel quite confused. My husband still has no diagnosis but he does have a new, local internist and has been told he needs to have surgery on his hiatal hernia. It's not been an easy year and it's very easy to become negative in the midst of all of it.
I still have MANY things to be grateful for. I know God as my LORD, his son Jesus as my Savior, and the Holy Spirit as my guide and I expect to spend eternity with them in heaven. I'm grateful to be in recovery. Next, my life is full of love in the form of my husband, my sons, my parents, my siblings and their children, my grandchildren, more family, forever friends, friends in recovery, and a random stranger at Walmart grocery pickup today. I'm very grateful to be in a happy marriage with the man God intended me to marry; we spend a lot of time talking and laughing and just being together. I'm grateful that my Father God meets all my needs each day, I have: a comfortable home, pretty clothes, food to prepare delicious meals with, and our bills are paid. I'm grateful for these blessings and more: a soft breeze blowing through the sidewalked and shadowed front of our home; the beautiful, jewel-colored bug I saw while watering today; plants that grow and delight and feed and shade and protect us; the beauty of nature in a hummingbird flitting about our trees; and a family of quail crossing my yard.
My husband very easily crosses into negativity. He's tired, he's hurting, he's clammy, he's violently vomiting up stomach acid. This has been going on for a year and a half. For the last week, he hasn't done much but sleep and sit in the living room. Not a single doctor has been able to tell him definitively what is causing his symptoms. There've been guesses and contradictions. There've been too many doctors who don't seem to have any compassion for their patients. He's miserable and there's not much I can do to help.
I'm trying to help us both be more focused (and grateful) for what we DO have; because we have a lot! I've gotten my old gratitude jar out and placed it on the kitchen table with paper scraps to write on. We've each written one thing we can be grateful for and placed it in the jar. We've agreed to write something else whenever either of us thinks we need to refocus our thoughts.
The more we practice this Attitude of Gratitude, the easier it will become to maintain a positive focus.
My hope and prayer is that when we focus on the good things in the PRESENT, our attitudes will continue to change for the better. I pray we will learn to be content, joyful, and trusting. Amen
