Forgiveness As a Choice—Not a Feeling
I’ve been struggling with an inability to forgive and I
found a study with a completely new perspective. What if I chose to forgive
now, instead of waiting until I felt like I was ready to forgive?
God sent Christ to die for my sins BEFORE I was sorry. God
made a choice to forgive me. God canceled the debt, releasing me from anything I
owed him. That’s what real forgiveness looks like.
True forgiveness is a total release from anything we are
owed or they deserve as a punishment.
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone
who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
Col 3:13 NLT
Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. It’s choosing to
cancel a debt owed to us. Our feelings may cry out against the whole idea of
forgiveness. Still, we can choose. This mirrors what God did when he chose to
forgive us.
The divine sequence God has given us is: think, choose, then
feel.
1)
We can set our minds on the truth of what needs
to be done.
2)
We can choose to forgive and release someone
from the debt owed to us.
3)
We can remember the choice we made from then on.
4)
We can live in agreement with the choice we
made.
We don’t have to wait for our emotions to line up with our
choice.
When we choose to forgive someone, it’s mostly for us, the
person we’re forgiving may never know we’re forgiving them; they may not even
be alive anymore!
Do we pretend our anger and pain don’t exist or matter? No! Get
alone with God and talk to Him. Be honest, He can handle it! You might want to
talk to a trusted friend or sponsor too. Then tell God you’re choosing to
forgive the person and releasing them from the debt they owe you. Ask God for
help when you need it.
It’s a sin to let my emotions control me rather than holding
onto the unchanging truths of God.
Abba Father, thank You for showing me how to forgive, I
choose to forgive Richard Eugene Dowden for molesting me when I was a child. I
choose to forgive him for making me feel like it was my fault. I choose to
forgive him for making it so hard for me to trust You. I choose to forgive him
for making it so hard to trust people, including myself. I choose to forgive
him for making me feel unloved and unloving and unlovable. I choose to forgive
him for awakening evil desires in my mind. I choose to forgive him for
demeaning my mother, myself, and my siblings. Lord, I release him from all
debts he owes me in this life and in the afterlife. Dad, when I start to fall back
into old habits, I ask You to remind me of the choice I’m making today to
forgive Richard Eugene Dowden and help me stand firm in my decision to let go
once and for all. Thank You for the healing You’ve already given me. Amen.
