I've Been Offline

Hi everyone!

I apologize for not posting anything new in a while.  I had some emotional and physical struggles this summer and, quite frankly, didn't have the desire to say anything.  This says a lot about my behavior when I'm struggling.  You'd think this is when I'd ask for help from a friend or family member, but I don't.  I don't want to be a burden to anyone.  I typically wait until the crisis has passed, then I talk about it.

I NEED to start sharing with my friends WITHIN the struggle.  I plan to start tomorrow.  Yes, I'm also a procrastinator; however, I have set a goal and put it to paper, so I'm more likely to actually do it.  I'll let you know.

Obviously, I haven't abandoned this blog, I just needed to take a break.  I was reviewing the last book I read on healing from abuse, which caused me to think a lot about my childhood (and my siblings) abuse at the hands of my stepdad.  It was just too much emotionally and I had to step away.

I haven't decided exactly what or how often I'll be posting from now on, but I will be posting.

At the end of the 2018-2019 school year, my husband got sick and was hospitalized for a week.  The hospital was 2 hours away from our home, so I spent most nights with him.  When we returned home, school was over (Grandma finished up the last week) and I'd missed my nephew completing 4th grade with all As, Bs, and Cs.  Yay!  I'm so proud of him.  It's probably a good thing I'd missed it as I was letting my need to be successful get in the way of his success and I would've taken way too much credit.  He had straight Fs at the end of his first semester last year at a brick and mortar school.  He's doing much better with online education and a one-on-one Learning Coach.  Me!  Grandma has officially taken over coaching of his younger brother, who's in the 3rd grade now.

School was out and I was lost.  I NEED to contribute beyond myself somehow and not being able to work, or commit to volunteering because of health problems, had taken that away from me.  Coaching my nephew has given me the giving outlet I need.  He has now experienced learning success.  His dad and grandma are no longer receiving phone calls regularly from the school expecting them and my nephew to be more accountable than required of themselves.  I'm NOT saying ALL teachers are there for a paycheck, job security, and benefits; but some simply don't care about their students.  I digress.  School provided a framework for me; it provided structure.  School helped me figure out what I'm currently capable of doing.  I couldn't do this if my nephew was the kind of kid I had to chase around, but he's not.  I spent a week or two doing very little and suffering through multiple migraines.  Then, things improved again.  

I had identified a few goals to accomplish over the summer prior to the end of the school year.

First, my husband and I planted a garden (we didn't last year because we were both so sick and unable to even plan one).   My nephew helped as part of PE, Math and Science for school.  We planted vines, lettuce, spinach, tomatoes, sunflowers, peas, beans, carrots, leeks, onions, poblanos, bell peppers, herbs, and grapes.  I mostly just water and harvest.  Some did better than others, my biggest feat is probably the spreadsheet I began keeping notes in so we can make new mistakes each year instead of repeating old ones.  LOL.  My husband had been talking about canning meat for the last 3 years.  I taught myself to can when I had a huge garden in Nebraska, years ago but sold my equipment when I thought I was done.  We purchased a canner and supplies and started our canning adventures by canning meat from our hunts.  Then we used around 50-60 prickly pear fruits to can jelly and marmalade.  Success!

Second, we purchased 6 baby chicks and raised them after putting in a chicken coop.  They are healthy and happy and I love to sit quietly watching them.  Weird, I know.  Their names are:  Hippy, Dippy, America, WhiMe, Drumstick, and Dominique.  They should start laying soon.  I no longer feel guilty about food that doesn't get eaten because the chickens love the leftovers. Success and serenity.

Third, we spent the first five months of school sitting at our dining room table.  We had to clean up every morning and afternoon, because we eat at the table too.  There were always messes to clean after Science and Art.  Textbooks were in the next room because there was nowhere to store them nearby.  We started the summer thinking we would remodel the master bedroom which had a cave-in and the roof was repaired last year.  We're almost done with the remodel and will probably move in this weekend.  However, when we moved stuff around to make room for the tape and texture guy, we pushed two chairs under a huge desk and realized the desk and chairs would be perfect for school.  So, the desk and chairs now have a permanent place in what is becoming our classroom.  Successes both planned and unplanned.  LOL.  I love how God works!!!

As always, I would LOVE to hear from you.