As an abused child, my step-dad Dick told me over and over how wrong I was and led me to believe he might love me IF I did something, anything right.
I became an adult abuse survivor who desperately needed to be right, so I could be worthy and loved.
I learned in 12-step meetings to ask myself “Do I wanna be right? Or do I wanna be happy?” Most of the time, this questions allows me to let go of an argument and my need to win it.
Exception found.
For some reason, having a 7 or 10 year old argue with me drives me to the edge of madness!
Me: On the next slide, you’ll be taking a quiz.
Student: It’s a quiz check.
Day after day, for crying out loud, it’s an assessment! They’re all assessments and it doesn’t make you any smarter by arguing with me again and again!
Me: Go to the next slide and reread the text.
Student: I’ve already done this.
Me: Do it again.
Student: But I’ve already done this.
Me: I know, read it again, the slide says REread.
Student: But that’s not fair, I’ve already read it!
Day after day, lesson after lesson. Quit arguing with me and do what I’ve asked you to do!
Me: Let’s start with Math today.
Student: Aw, I wanted to do Language Arts first.
Another day.
Me: Let’s start with Language Arts today.
Student: Can’t we start with Art today?
Day after day. Power struggle after power struggle.
Me: Why did you skip slide 10?
Student: I didn’t.
Me: You were just on slide 9, now you’re on slide 11. Did you watch the videos?
Student: No.
Me: Why not?
Student: I didn’t think I needed to.
Me: Where’s your notebook (where he has written he won’t skip parts of the lessons without my express permission.)?
Student: My brother took it home.
Minutes later, I pull out both of his notebooks.
Me: Why did you tell me your brother took your notebook home?
Student: I didn’t.
What am I missing here? Day after day.
And at the end of the day?
Damn it!
I want to be right!
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