First Love

It was the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore years of high school. I was working at the Tax Department at the County Treasurer’s office. I was walking across the parking lot to enter the back door and saw a co-worker Mary standing next to a little pickup truck talking to the cutest guy I’d even seen. Our eyes met and I was spellbound.

I discovered later he was her stepson William and he had asked her for my phone number. I gave it to her and he called me. The first phone call was excruciating for me, I was so nervous and tongue tied. He asked me out and I agreed. He took me dancing. I still remember the blue dress I borrowed from my mom.

I was a shy teen who didn’t believe I had any value. I had secrets. I was socially awkward and uncomfortable. I believed I was ugly and unlovable. I was convinced everything I did was somehow wrong.

He was so handsome and confident. Tall, muscular, dark hair and eyes, a contagious laugh, smart, an intense personality, and confident. I watched the way this 19 year old man interacted with adults, as if they were equals; and it totally amazed me. He was fearless. 

He rode a motorcycle and my parents wouldn’t allow me to ride it, so we’d agree on a time and meet on the next street over to go riding. I loved having my arms around him but was always thinking I was not a good passenger.

We continued to date after school started again. I was a Sophomore, he was a Senior. He had a reputation as a bad boy but people loved him. He got into a lot of fistfights and I even saw him call a teacher outside to fight. He hollowed out a textbook and collected cash donations from schoolmates to pay for alcohol at class parties.

At the time, our high school was an open campus and we would go to Sonic often. He’d order a meal, I’d order tater tots. We’d talk and talk and talk. He always shared a few fries with the birds. I didn’t eat much in front of him because I was afraid he would think I chewed gross or something. I also thought I was fat. I can remember seeing the motion of the truck make my thighs jiggle and being embarrassed he might notice. I weighed 97 pounds then. Good grief!

He made me feel special.

He was always a gentleman with me. He would walk me to class and carry my books. We were always kissing. This led to one of the two times I was called to the office. The school decided a new rule was needed which forbade students from kissing on school property. We got caught by the assistant principal, Mr. Showalter, and were called into his office. He threatened to expel us and Willie told him that would be okay because then we’d have more time to kiss. He sent us to class with a warning.

My German class entered a float in the Homecoming parade and we decorated it as a Panzer tank. Willie loaned me his camouflage hunting clothes to wear on the float. After the parade, we went to his house to shower and change before going to the Homecoming dance. He loved to dance and was good at it, I felt gangly and uncoordinated so I’d only dance slow with him.

Willie was my first love and the first person I chose to give myself to. It was delightful while it lasted.