Tittle-Tattler

I was a gossip. A tittle-tattler.

My son Samson had caught me with my lips flapping, gossiping about he and his girlfriend Callie Stafford. I was mortified but confused.

Fast forward weeks or months. I’m at a large 12 step meeting. I’m listening to each person share about the topic of gossip. Initially I felt like it didn’t apply to me. I wasn’t talking about Samson out of meanness or to make myself look better. He’s my son and I want only good for him. I was concerned the choices he was making were going to negatively impact his future. I was voicing my concerns which were born out of my love for him. That’s not gossip! Right?

As I reflected, I realized that I often had conversations with people I have in common with other people I worried about. I thought I knew how to fix the talked about person’s problems, and I was telling our mutual person how the talked about person can fix all their problems. Only I rarely talked to the person we were talking about to share all this great advice. Wait a minute? Who put me in charge? What made me think I could fix anyone else’s life? Look at the unholy mess I had created out of my life; listening to my best advice!

I have no right to try to fix someone else’s life and if I’m really trying to “help” them, why aren’t I talking to them directly?

Duh!

I hadn’t been able to figure out how to fix my problems, so I had started focusing on fixing other people’s problems. It wasn’t intentional but it happened anyway. So, I had plenty to say about other people. I didn’t have much to say about myself.

I wasn’t okay with myself or silence. I felt like I had to fill the gaps in conversation, so I filled them with talk about other people.

I realized I needed to make a major change in my life, and it was going to be uncomfortable and awkward for a while.

I decided to ask my Higher Power for insight into what to do next.