A friend lovingly suggested I might be a codependent and that I might want to try out a 12 Step Program. I was furious! How impertinent for her to say I had a problem! I didn’t have a problem!! I was in the process of divorcing husband #3 and already dating a new person. Husband #3 and I had been married 15 years. I wasn’t happy, not for most of the 15 years. He was the problem, not I. I believed I had a faulty “picker” at worst.
It was several years before I had my first 12 Step experience. My marriage to husband #4 was falling apart. I had tried everything I could think of to make it work. My husband continued to drink, gamble and smoke meth.
I went to my first meeting. I thought it seemed like they might be a cult; however, I heard something I liked and kept going back. I started off thinking there was something wrong with the people I met in the meetings. I went back for weeks, perhaps even months. I realized I had a lot in common with these people. I could learn a lot from them. All of a sudden, I had an epiphany, the people in these meeting were kind, loving people who were making a lot of mistakes but ultimately intended good for their loves ones. They were nice people!
I was a nice person too! I had made a lot of mistakes throughout my life but not because I was bad, unlovable, or trying to hurt someone. I needed new tools and thinking.
Soon, I was attending more than seven meetings each week. I spent time with my fellow 12 Steppers and got to know and love many of them. I was listening and learning. I began applying and my life started to improve.
If you need help, I encourage you to see out a 12 step program. There are many and they are not all alike. Each group has it’s own “feel” or “flavor” if you will. I recommend giving each one you try 3 visits so you have a really good idea of whether or not it’s a “flavor” you like. Try different meetings within the same group umbrella as not all meetings are healthy.
If you want change, if you need change, if you’re desperate (I was); practice what you’re hearing when it sounds like it might work and keep going back until you receive a miraculous change in your thinking and behaviors.
I have been transformed. I have to say thank you, thank you, thank you to God, my Higher Power!
No comments:
Post a Comment